


Here and Now

by scatter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1551734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatter/pseuds/scatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Souji's taking too long to change out of his pageant costume. Naturally, this becomes Yosuke's problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here and Now

When Chie tracked him down after the pageant and told him Souji wouldn't change back into his uniform, Yosuke laughed at her. She didn't like that one bit, of course.

"It's not funny!" she snapped, looking like she already regretted telling him.

"How is it not?" he asked. "You forced him to dress like a girl and now you can't get him to stop. That's hilarious." As far as he was concerned, she deserved as much trouble as Souji could give her. He'd torn his own outfit off as soon as he'd gotten the chance but he knew people would be talking about it for weeks, drawing it out until something new caught their interest. He could only hope that once the girls got on stage, they'd overshadow this little crossdressing adventure completely.

"You won't think that when one of the teachers finds out," Chie said. "So go make him stop."

"Me? No way. I don't have anything to do with this." He tried to get out of the corner she'd back him into but she mirrored his step and blocked his exit.

"You're his best friend!"

"And as his best friend, I fully support his efforts to mess with your head." Yosuke had to give it to him, it was a pretty good prank. Not one he'd ever do but good anyway. "Nope, this is your fault, so you can have fun fixing it."

"What? If this is anyone's fault, it's yours," she said. "If you hadn't signed us up for this stupid pageant then we wouldn't have had to do the same to you and none of this would have happened."

"You didn't have to do anything," he said, annoyed that she was still going on about this. Then again, this was Chie. Knowing her, she'd bring it up for the rest of his life. "It was a joke. I didn't know you wouldn't be able to back out, and I already said I'm sorry. I've said it like fifty times. But, seriously, if you'd just gone along with it instead of blowing it out of proportion, no one would have cared."

Chie's hands clenched into fists. "Ugh, you're wrong, and you know you're wrong, but that's not important right now."

Huh, that was strange. Yosuke certainly didn't want to rehash this argument - they'd been going back and forth since he'd signed them up and he was tired of it - but it wasn't like Chie to give up on a chance to prove him wrong. Actually, now that he got a better look at her, she did seem more worried than she should have been. Suddenly uneasy, he decided to hear her out. "Wait, are you serious?"

"Are you going to listen now?" When he nodded, she lowered her voice, though no one was close enough to overhear them. "Look, Yukiko and I have managed to keep it quiet for this long but if he doesn't come out soon people are going to get suspicious and start talking."

The hell they were. The team could make fun of Souji's strange habits all they wanted, they were close like that, but anyone else getting weird ideas about him was out of the question. "What'd you do?" he asked. "Did you break him?"

"Yosuke, I don't need you to be stupid right now, I need you to help me fix this," she said. "I don't know what's going on in his head, I never do, but he talks to you. So take care of this? Please?"

"What are you begging for? Don't do that, it's weird." Uncomfortable and aiming more to reassure himself than her, he said, "I bet you're freaking out over nothing. You know him, sometimes he does weird stuff."

"Like this?" Chie asked, and Yosuke had to agree with her. "I can handle a joke, even the kind he likes. If he wore it around school the rest of the day to be funny, I could deal with it, but he's not doing anything. He just sits there and won't come out of the room. It's starting to creep me out."

"That's enough, I get it." She wasn't making him feel any better about this. "I'll go check on him."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, shooing her away and walking off.

He found Yukiko guarding the classroom, its hallway windows covered so it could be used as a temporary dressing room. He nearly turned around when he saw her expression, like she was daring anyone to try and get inside, but it softened when she spotted him. "Chie sent you?" she asked. "Good."

Chie'd given him the same look, the kind usually reserved for Souji when he agreed to help someone solve a problem, and Yosuke wasn't sure how he felt about having it directed at him. "It's not really that serious, right?" he asked, eyeing the door. "Chie's making it sound like a big deal."

"He's not doing anything," Yukiko admitted, "but we can't convince him to change back and if he doesn't soon Kashiwagi is going to find out and you know how she is."

"You don't think he's just joking around with you?"

"How can it be a joke if all he does is sit there?" Yukiko asked. "Even his sense of humor isn't this bad."

Yosuke knocked on the classroom door. He felt silly doing it but he didn't want to barge in with no warning. "Hey, partner, it's me. I'm coming in."

Contrary to Yukiko's description, Souji was doing something, if only sitting at a desk and twirling his wig on one finger. He still wore the outfit and maybe he seemed a little glum but other than that he looked the same as ever. That was a relief. Yosuke'd half-expected to find him huddled in a corner, stroking his wig.

Without looking up, he said, "Hi, Yosuke."

"Hey, partner," Yosuke repeated, closing the door behind him. Souji smiled slightly at the nickname, his way of letting Yosuke know he liked it and didn't simply tolerate it. "You okay?"

"People keep asking me that." Souji tossed the wig aside. "I'm fine. What about you? You were pretty nervous earlier. You didn't go be sick somewhere, did you?"

"No, I didn't barf. And I wasn't nervous, I was annoyed. There's a big difference." Nervous made it sound like he cared about how he'd looked and he definitely hadn't.

"Right. What about your costume," Souji asked, "did you rip it up?"

"If I did that, I'd just piss the girls off even more and they'd make me pay to have it fixed. Nah, I hid it behind some props in the drama room." Pretty well, too; he wasn't going to have to worry about someone finding it and showing it off for laughs. But they were talking about him and that wasn't why he was here. He wandered closer, doing his best to come off casual. "So I hear you're making Chie and Yukiko worry."

Souji frowned. "Am I?"

"Yeah, your joke's gone on long enough. Don't get me wrong, it's a good one, but once they start taking it seriously then it's time to quit. You don't want to be a jerk."

"I'm not trying to be funny," Souji said. "I just wanted some time alone."

"Did you tell them that?"

Souji hesitated. "I told them I'd be out soon."

"Which isn't the same thing," Yosuke pointed out, and Souji had the decency to look sorry. "How long ago did you tell them?"

Souji glanced at his wrist but he wasn't wearing his watch. "I'm not sure. When did we get off stage?"

"Ages ago." That might have been an exaggeration but Yosuke felt it was close enough to the truth to say. "You've been sitting in here way too long."

"I guess so," Souji said. "Are the girls really that upset?"

Yosuke considered messing with him but decided against it. "It's nothing they won't get over," he said. "Can't hurt to apologize when you see them, though. Where are your clothes?"

"I think Yukiko put them in one of the desks." Souji checked the one he was sitting at, came up empty-handed, and shrugged.

Yosuke started searching, wondering if he'd find anything interesting. On second thought, he just hoped no one had gotten it into their head to steal Souji's clothes as a prank. Running around school trying to track them down wasn't an appealing idea. "Hey, so if you weren't doing this as a joke, why are you hanging out in here?"

"Would you believe I'm sulking because I didn't win?"

Yosuke stopped examining a pencil with a funny eraser and stared at him. "You can't be serious."

Souji chuckled. "Don't look so shocked, I'm kidding."

"Funny. Any chance I can get a real answer?" Chie said Souji talked to him when he wouldn't do the same with anyone else, and Yosuke liked to think that was true, but it hadn't come easy. Yosuke might've opened up to him fast, but Souji was so used to keeping things to himself that it'd been weeks before he'd returned the favor. Even now, when Yosuke considered them pretty firmly in the best friends category, he could never tell when Souji would change his mind and clam up at the last second. It hadn't been happening quite as often lately, which he took to be a good sign, but that didn't make it less annoying when it did.

"Hmm..." Souji plucked at his shirt, not meeting Yosuke's eyes. "It's not really that important."

"It must be if it's got you hiding away in here."

"It's embarrassing."

Yosuke had no idea what that was supposed to mean but he didn't like the sound of it. It was too late to try to change the topic, though; for all his stalling, Souji only did that when he wanted to talk, otherwise he'd shut the conversation down completely. He just needed an extra push to go through with it, some reassurance Yosuke was going to hear him out, and if Yosuke brushed him off instead then he'd clam back up for who knew how long. Plus, what kind of friend would Yosuke be if he shied away from a conversation just because it was uncomfortable? Souji had never done that to him. With some effort, he kept his tone light. "It can't be that bad. Think of all the stuff I've told you, it is worse than any of that?"

"No," Souji agreed, and Yosuke could hear him shifting in his chair. "I wanted to enjoy this a little longer."

Yosuke was glad he had his back to Souji because he wasn't sure what kind of face he was making, only that it wasn't good. Definitely not the kind anyone wanted to see after admitting to something like that. "You want to enjoy wearing the skirt?" he asked, voice cracking. 

"What? No," Souji said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that!"

Yosuke turned to him, hesitating. Souji certainly looked like he meant it, visibly flustered for the first time all day, and Yosuke's first instinct was to believe him but he couldn't help remembering how Souji'd barely blinked before taking the girl's seat during the group date cafe or how blase he'd been about having to go on stage. That might not have meant anything but if it did and it wasn't just Souji going along with the flow as usual then Yosuke owed Souji a chance to tell him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, swallowing in an attempt to keep his voice steady. "Because you know you can tell me anything, even that you're like--" He started to say Kanji and stopped because Kanji didn't wear dresses. "--like Naoto and I'm not gonna--"

"I'm sure," Souji said firmly, the color on his face rising with every word out of Yosuke's mouth. "I like pants. This is the only time I've ever worn a skirt and I don't plan to do it again. Is that what Chie thinks I'm doing in here, hiding out because I want to crossdress?"

"Chie doesn't know what you're doing, that's why she wanted me to check on you."

"But who would think...?"

"Everyone?" Only Souji would fail to see how this could taken the wrong way. "What else is a person supposed to think when you keep wearing that and can't why say without getting embarrassed?"

Souji stood up so abruptly his chair squeaked. "Where are my clothes? I'm going to change."

Now that he bothered to look, he found them without too much trouble and Yosuke turned away, giving Souji some privacy and himself a chance to calm down. His heart had skipped a beat when Souji'd spoke and it hadn't gone back to normal yet. He took a few deep breaths to try and help it along. He hadn't been lying - Souji could tell him anything, it didn't matter what it was - but that didn't stop the relief he felt at being wrong, and if that made him a crappy friend, well, then at least he was a good enough one to keep it to himself.

Right on the tail of that relief, though, came annoyance at Souji for making him freak out over nothing. And not just him but Chie and Yukiko, too; Yosuke could imagine they'd thought the same thing but hadn't wanted to come out and say it. "You know," he said, "you can't get upset with us for misunderstanding this, it's your own fault. If you don't want people to get the wrong impression, you've got to be willing to talk a little more, otherwise we're gonna assume stuff."

He didn't get a response but he hadn't expected one. Still, a sorry would have been nice, and with nothing else to do but wait he took his frustration out on the chalkboard. For several painful moments, an tense silence stretched between them.

"Today's been a lot of fun," Souji said, so suddenly that Yosuke nearly dropped the piece of chalk he'd been holding. Hastily, he wiped at the scowling caricature of Souji'd he'd doodled but Souji wasn't looking his way, his head down as he fiddled with the sleeves of his uniform. The costume had been flung over a chair. "And I thought since I'll never do this again, I might as well make it last longer. That's why I'm in here."

"But the day's not over yet," Yosuke said, unsure if he was understanding him correctly. "There's still a lot of stuff to do."

"I know that. There'll be things to do today and tomorrow and the week after that but what we just did - being on stage with you and Kanji and Teddy - won't happen again, and that's... It depressed me." Souji kept needlessly adjusting his sleeves but he snuck a nervous glance at Yosuke. "Doesn't it seem that way to you?"

"Anything woud be depressing if you put it that way." Yosuke was still irritated enough to want an apology but he didn't want to risk derailing the conversation now that Souji was talking. He could always get one later. He went to stand next to Souji, leaning back against a desk and crossing his arms as he tried to follow Souji's reasoning. "I guess I see what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's over, but maybe it wasn't all bad. Teddy was funny. But there's no use dwelling on it, is there? That's just how it goes - you have fun doing one thing and then you move on to the next. Sure, we won't be able to do this again but there's always next year to look forward to. Hell, it'll probably be better 'cause I bet you they'll ban pageants and we won't have to go through this mess again."

He paused in case Souji wanted to say something and, when he didn't, kept going.

"The group date cafe was a bust so we don't want to do that again, but I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something better. Less embarrassing, too; I'm tired of making myself look like an idiot." When this didn't seem to cheer Souji up very much, Yosuke nudged him. "Think we could get away with mud wrestling?"

That got Souji to laugh. "Do you like making the girls mad at you?"

"They can't be mad at me if you're the one who signs them up," Yosuke said, glad to have gotten a smile out of him. "Sound good?"

"I wouldn't go that far." Souji's smile faded. "Not that it matters. I'm leaving next year, remember?"

Yosuke felt like he'd been shoved. He'd known, of course, but it wasn't something he thought about often, and while hearing it now wasn't as bad as the first time it still didn't feel good. He wasn't quite so proud of his speech anymore. "Well, shit. I forgot."

"Honestly, so did I," Souji said, staring at the ceiling. "But when I thought about how I'd never done anything like this at my old school, I remembered, and I didn't want it to end."

Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck, as a loss for words. "Staying in that skirt wasn't going to stop time, partner."

The tips of Souji's ears went red. "You don't need to remind me. I'm already embarrassed enough, getting depressed over something that isn't going to happen for months. No one else is."

"They probably forgot. I mean, it's been one thing after another since you got here, who's thinking that far out?" Even saying it out loud, Yosuke could hardly believe it. They were solving a case where someone threw people into TVs and fighting Shadows with creatures summoned when they broke cards. That was all going to end because the school year did? It was like some bad joke.

"It'd be a lot easier if I didn't like you guys," Souji said. "I never used to care about moving. Maybe if you were a jerk until I left it wouldn't bother me as much."

As if Yosuke'd be able to manage that without making both of them miserable. "What if you talked to Dojima-san or your parents? You could try to convince them to let you stay or maybe..." He stopped as Souji's expression turned bitter, as if it wasn't even worth considering. Of course he'd tried that before with how much he moved around. "Or you could try not thinking about it? Like you said, you've still got months."

"Yeah." Souji sighed heavily, and Yosuke wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him closer, hoping that would comfort him. Souji stiffened briefly before relaxing. "What are you going to do when I leave?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you'll be sad, right?"

"Of course I will, what kind of question is that?" Yosuke didn't want to think about this. He looked away, unable to deal with how closely Souji watched him for an answer. "How am I supposed to know? It's not like I've got it all planned out."

"Will you cry?"

"No," Yosuke said immediately, though he had the awful feeling that he might. Like having done it once in front of Souji wasn't bad enough.

"Are you sure?" Souji asked, disappointed. "Because I'd like that."

He couldn't tell if Souji was serious or messing with him. "You'd like me crying?"

"It'd be touching. If it helps, I'll cry, too."

"You will, huh?" He had a hard time imagining Souji crying over anything. Then again, this morning he would have had a hard time imagining having to convince him to stop wearing a skirt so maybe it wasn't as impossible as it seemed. Plus, it was nice to think of Souji getting emotional because of him. "In that case, maybe I'll squeeze out a few tears."

"It'd mean a lot to me."

"It's a deal then. But you better do it too, I'm serious. I don't want to end up looking stupid."

Souji went quiet, looking marginally happier, and Yosuke supposed he must have been serious. With neither of them talking, Yosuke could hear the rest of the school moving around, the background noise louder than it'd been when he'd first entered the room. The girls were going on stage soon, if they weren't there already, which meant they'd been in here longer than he'd planned. It was past time he got Souji back around the others and made him to stop dwelling on these thoughts. It wasn't doing him any good.

"I get what you're going through," he said. "After my parents told me we were moving here, I moped around for weeks but all it did was mean I spent a lot of time alone. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me when I was constantly in a bad mood. I'm not saying it's wrong to be upset about leaving but you're going about it the wrong way. Really, what would you rather do: stay in here by yourself and miss out on everything that's happening, or hang out with your friends and enjoy yourself?"

"It's not that simple--"

"Like, right now," Yosuke continued, cutting him off before he could make up an excuse. He gestured to the empty room. "What are you going to remember about this? You could be telling Kanji how terrible his makeup was but instead you'll be stuck with this crummy memory. If you ask me, that doesn't make much sense."

Souji bit his lip. "You're making me sound pretty stupid," he mumbled.

"You're not being stupid," Yosuke said, "you're just, I don't know, forgetting you're not the only one involved in this. No offense but it's not all about you and what you're feeling, partner. Having you around is important to us, too, so you're screwing us over when you do stuff like this."

"I know, it's just..." Souji sighed and shook his head. "You're right. I guess I'm over-thinking things."

"As usual." Yosuke tapped the side of his head. "Haven't I told you to stop that?"

"Once or twice." Souji swatted at his fingers. Yosuke gave him a few more good pokes before dropping his hand.

"Then you're okay now?" he asked. "Feeling up to joining everybody again?"

"Yeah, I'm better. Sorry for this."

"Eh, it's nothing. I can't stand by and watch you make yourself miserable." He waved at Souji's costume. "Now hurry up and take care of that. Everyone's probably wondering where we are."

"Alright. Show me where you hid yours, I'll put it there." While he collected everything, Souji asked, with the same false casualness Yosuke'd used earlier, "By the way, you're not going to mention this to the others, right? If they find out, I'll look ridiculous."

Yosuke didn't answer immediately. He'd never gone around blabbing about their conversations before and wasn't about to start now but keeping this to themselves didn't seem right. "You know I won't, but maybe you should. It's not good to keep this kind of thing to yourself."

"I'm not keeping it to myself," Souji argued. "I told you."

"After Chie came and got me. If she hadn't, would you have said anything?" Souji didn't respond. "It would have been great if you'd found me yourself and let me know you wanted to get something off your chest. Or, hell, not even me; if you'd had this conversation with Chie, or Yukiko, it could have all been cleared up in a couple of minutes. I'm not the only one willing to hear you out, you know."

Souji frowned at him, tensing up. "Does that mean you're tired of listening to me?"

"Is that what I said?" Yosuke tried to keep the frustration from his voice. He felt awkward enough, bringing this up when he'd finally gotten Souji back in a good mood, and it wouldn't go any smoother if Souji started getting defensive. It wasn't fair to any of them to drop it, though, so he pressed on. "I like being there for you, and I'll hear you out whenever you want. But so will Chie, and Yukiko, and Kanji, if you give them the chance, and from what I've heard you don't do it much, that's why she had to come and find me."

It couldn't have been more obvious that Souji didn't want to discuss this, the way he turned away and refused to meet Yosuke's eyes, but to Yosuke's relief he didn't simply brush his concerns away. "It's not the same, talking to you and talking to them. It's uncomfortable."

"Well, yeah, and so is half the crap I talk to you about, but I do it anyway. I don't know why it's such a big deal for you, if you worry we're gonna think less of you or that you've got to maintain some image..." He really was clueless about this reluctance but Souji's tight-lipped expression told him he wasn't going to find the answer today. "Either way, it's a two-way street - we're not just dumping on you and expecting you to take it, we're waiting for you to do the same so we can return the favor. You don't need to turn into Ted and never shut up but you can't go wrong telling everyone you're going to miss them when you leave. It's nice to hear. Trust me."

Souji looked guilty, as if he hadn't considered that, which was fine with Yosuke. If he needed to use a little guilt-trip to get this through Souji's head, he'd do it no problem. "I don't want to make it into a big deal," Souji said but it was a halfhearted excuse.

"It doesn't have to be. Tell you what," Yosuke said, "if you bring it up the next time we're at Junes, I'll help you out and play crowd control, make sure no one gets weepy."

Souji smiled. "You will, huh?"

"Sure. What, you don't think I can do it?"

"You're pretty prone to getting weepy yourself," Souji said. Before Yosuke could defend himself, he continued, "I'll think about it. How's that?"

It was halfway to a yes, and Yosuke had no doubt that he could make it into one given enough time. "I guess that's good enough. I'm holding you to it, though, so don't expect me to forget." Unexpectedly, Souji laughed. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that I never pictured myself getting lectured by you. I'm not sure how much I like it." Souji's tone made it clear he was joking but, honestly, Yosuke would appreciate this being a one-time thing. Confronting Souji like this felt backwards.

"If you hate it so much, don't make me have to do it again," Yosuke said.

"I don't know, it could be a good change. Maybe the next time someone comes to me for advice, I'll send them to you instead."

"I'll pass." Souji might be able to deal with everyone in Inaba coming to him when they needed to vent but that was Yosuke's idea of a nightmare. Eager to put this behind them, he headed towards the door. "Now let's go. I don't want to miss my chance to heckle Chie while she's on stage."

"You think she's going to let you get away with that?" Souji asked as he followed him out. The hallway was deserted and Yosuke picked up his pace.

"It's payback," he said, giving the skirt Souji carried a significant look.

Souji followed his gaze. "...Maybe one comment couldn't hurt. A little one."

"Great." Yosuke clapped him on the back. "Just do me a favor and make sure you stand in front of me when you say it, okay? Because if she comes after anyone afterwards, I'd rather it was you."


End file.
